Today’s WTF: Hey, ladies, a feeding tube is NOT a “diet”!

Is this really the ideal look for brides?

Fact: The “war on women” is real.

Myth: The “war on women” is only being waged by men.

It makes me angry indeed to see politicians and pundits making life difficult for the women of America. But if there’s anything that makes me angrier than that, it’s seeing the women of America making things difficult for themselves.

As I scanned this morning’s headlines, I came upon an article which discusses a hot new trend with soon-to-be brides who want to lose a little weight before the wedding. This procedure, known as the K-E Diet, is not a “diet” in the traditional sense. Instead of adjusting the food you eat and the activity you do each day, in order to establish a healthier lifestyle, the K-E Diet simply asks you to stop eating altogether. Instead, you walk around with a feeding tube up your nose for 10 days. The tube runs into your stomach, allowing for a steady drip of nutritional goo (a carbohydrate-free mixture of protein and fat) which supplies you with 800 calories a day. You can lose up to 20 pounds using this procedure, according to the physician who has introduced this “European-style” weight loss program in the US.

Do I even have to tell y’all how repulsive this idea is to someone like me? I am not a doctor myself, so I am not in any position to discuss the claims of how effective or safe this practice may be. And I don’t actually care, to be honest.

What pisses me off is the fact that women are actually doing this shit, and paying $1500 for the privilege. There are women in America who feel the need to give somebody $1500 and put themselves on the borderline of starvation for 10 days – all so they can look “their best” for their wedding day. Ladies and gentlemen, this sort of thing is the very reason that the phrase “what the fuck” was invented.

Women in this country have moved forward in so many ways – socially, politically, academically, financially and culturally. Yet we still feel the need to fit in to an unrealistic set of expectations regarding our appearance. We still feel the need to adhere to the extreme standards of health and beauty that have been defined for us in the media. We still feel that we will be more beautiful, more loveable, or more happy when we attain a particular body type.

It’s bad enough that we live in a culture that tends to objectify women. Why must women objectify themselves? To reduce your own self-worth to the physical shell your heart, mind and spirit are encased in is nothing short of pathetic.

Health is important. Well-being is important. But this “diet” does not solve your health or well-being issues. It is a temporary solution to a problem that ought to be non-existent in the first place. Marriage is meant to be a joyous celebration of two lives coming together in a loving and committed relationship. It’s not about how skinny you look walking down the aisle. It is not Project Fucking Runway. If you think your ability to enjoy your wedding day is dependent on how much you weigh on that day, you ain’t even ready to get married. In the words of my favorite drag queen, RuPaul, if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?

You wanna look nice for your wedding? Hey, sister, I’m behind you 100%, and if you have a healthy way to do it, knock yourself out. But if you are desperate enough to stick a goddamned tube up your nose and walk around for 10 days with a pouch of protein fluid in your purse, you have gone overboard. Go look in the mirror, let yourself recognize how beautiful you are right at this moment, and remember that you have found someone to share your life with who thinks you’re beautiful too. Relish that and let it empower you, and resist the temptation to stop being a genuine, healthy, functioning human being for the sake of dropping a dress size for one day. In the words of my second favorite drag queen, Miami’s own Latrice Royale, let’s use the 5 Gs here: Good God, Get a Grip Girl!

I know there are more important news stories making the rounds today. I know this is something that might seem too irrelevant or ridiculous to bother writing a post about. But as a woman, and the mom of a daughter, I can tell you this sort of thing always makes me crazy. There is no way we can overcome the bullshit that gets imposed on us by others if we continue feeding into that same bullshit ourselves. Women have the right to do anything they want to do, and I suppose they have the right to be vanity-driven morons if they want to. I just wish they knew better.  If we don’t want to be treated like idiots, then we’d better stop acting like idiots. And if we want other people to respect our control over our own bodies, we’d better respect our own bodies first.

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A little FYI addendum: I have a lot of work and other stuff  happening this week, and I have been short on time for the WordPress thang over the past few days. This post was something I squeezed in between other obligations, but I may or may not have time to write much else this week. Also, I will make the rounds to read the latest posts on all your blogs when time allows, and I hope that will be soon. I’m looking forward to catching up on everything I’ve been missing around here!

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4 thoughts on “Today’s WTF: Hey, ladies, a feeding tube is NOT a “diet”!

  1. I am getting married this weekend, my second time around and a couple of decades and more then a few pounds heavier then the first time. I am marrying the man I love, who loves me and every curve, lump and ounce of cellulite I possess. There will be a few lumps in the little pink dress I’ll be wearing, and I don’t give a crap.

    I have followed the, “I’m getting married, Oh shit I’m stressed, where are those Doritos, where’s the coffee! I need a freaking double cheeseburger…hello Prilosec” diet. It works! I’ve not gained an ounce.

    For the record, I watched a few minutes of the spin off of “say yes to the dress” which involved bridesmaids…Holy hell! Of course my being little miss unconventional, my bridesmaid will be my 97 year old grandmother. She can wear whatever she wants.

    • Love this comment! Funny, sounds like you’re on the same diet I was on before my wedding! You and your grandma are gonna look gorgeous, I just know it! 🙂 Congrats and much luck and happiness to you!

  2. WTF indeed!! I need to shed a few pounds, but I know that the only reason I have a muffin-top is my penchant for carbs and craft beer and aversion to cardio. How freaking lazy and dangerous, not to mention completely fucking psychotic to subject one’s self to such a “diet” that is only fit for the comatose and medically fragile.

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