It seems that Mitt Romney has decided to spend his weekend here in my home state of Florida. I guess I must’ve forgotten to go pick up a ticket for his “victory rally” this afternoon…but anyway, I’m sure Romney will make the most of his time here in the Sunshine State. At least, he’d better hope he does. Right now, the state is still pretty much split down the middle between Romney and President Obama. If Romney wants to make a dent in those numbers, he will have to bring his A-game this weekend.
Let’s see, I guess he can talk to our senior voters about his new-found love of the 47% to which they belong, although he may not be too keen on reminding them about that darn fundraising video again. Maybe he’d be better off just sticking to a discussion of his swell program for Medicare vouchers…um, on second thought, maybe not.
Alright, forget the seniors for a second. We have a huge Latino voter bloc down here, so if he’s smart, he’ll try to engage them. I bet they’d LOVE to hear all about how he plans to deal with immigration, since this is a very important topic for them. How about revisiting the details of his “self-deportation” concept? Well, that might not go over so well, on second thought. So perhaps he could discuss the way he’s always supported the DREAM Act, which would help young immigrants earn their US citizenship if they commit to an education or military service. Oh, wait….
But there’s always women! After all, Obama is leading Romney with women voters in Florida by double-digit margins. That’s a great place to win some converts, right? All he needs to do is come up with a speech that targets the issues women care about the most, like reproductive rights, or equal pay, or public education. Aw, nuts, that won’t work either, will it? Jeez, this is harder than I thought!
Well, OK. Forget about trying to pander to particular demographic groups. Just try to garner support from local political allies. Like Rep. Allen West, who will be speaking at today’s event before Romney takes the stage. Having him on board has GOTTA be a bonus, right?
Oh. Well then. *sigh* Hey, I tried for you there, Mitt, I really, really did. But at this point, I got nothin’. Sorry, old chap, but I think you might be screwed. Hey, at least make sure you grab a slice of Key Lime pie before you go, OK? Just to make sure the trip wasn’t a total loss. And I’m sure you’ll have better luck in some of the other swing states, like Ohio, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin! Oh, wait….DARN IT!